Saturday, October 17, 2009


I think I may have blocked most of this out because it had to do with my controlling ex-boyfriend Ben. He wasn't there, but I had these ugly hairpieces that he wanted me to wear - like a 1960s pouf on top with long pieces down the back like a mullet. They were damaged so I took them into the shower with me to wash them - they had the texture of real hair that had been burnt. When I came out of the shower, I looked in the mirror and I had dripping clown makeup on - like Heath Ledger Joker. My eyes were all ringed in red, a big ugly red mouth, and white makeup, but all dripping down from being in the shower.

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